Rosie walked into the house carrying her famous apple pie. Everyone was happy to see her — and the pie — but also cautious. Rosie’s husband, Simon, died two years ago, and holiday family gatherings have never been the same. No one is sure what to say. They do not want to make Rosie cry by mentioning Simon. Rosie does… Read More
How to Help Someone Who is Grieving
In Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What It Costs Us, I encourage people not to push others (or themselves) through grief. Knowing what this means in practical ways is good to consider. People often struggle with not knowing what to say to someone who is grieving. In facing this struggle, there are those who simply do not talk… Read More
“Am I Grieving Right?”
We sit at the kitchen table, brushing off the chill of a winter evening. Gloria puts down her coffee mug and reaches for a picture of her children. Through tears, she tells me about her oldest son’s life, and quietly laughs when describing his antics. He died three years ago, and she obviously misses him. After reflecting on her grief… Read More
We Can Carry Grief and Joy Together
Settling back in the chair, Tim talks about his wife Leah, who died 15 years ago. “There’s not a day that goes by without me thinking about her. You know, ‘What would she look like today? Would she still be working?’ You just kind of think about what our life might have been like. ‘What would she think about this?… Read More
Helping Children Cope in Difficult Times
When bad things happen in our lives or when we hear of tragedies in the news, it can be hard to know how to talk with our children about the events. Personal trauma, natural disasters, wars, and shootings are all stressful for families. Although every child’s needs are different, here are some thoughts to help you plan your time with… Read More
Learn to help people relieve pressure and anxiety—Ten Tips for Effective Listening
In a world upended, hurting, and fearful, the pressure is mounting. As anxiety and tension escalate, we all need to become better listeners. The ability to listen to someone helps that person release the pressure that builds up inside. We can think about stress and anxiety as pressure that needs to escape. In various types of equipment, a relief valve… Read More
Christmas for those who are hurting
Standing in the checkout line, I overheard the young cashier tell a customer that she was soon going home, which would thrill her three-year-old son. Earlier that morning, her little boy begged her not to leave. She said, “I asked him, ‘Do you want Christmas to come or not?’ He said yes. So I told him, ‘Then I have to… Read More
Giving Thanks: An attitude of gratitude can include tears
During an especially difficult time in my life, I walked into a church. “How are you doing?” someone asked me, a little too enthusiastic for the day I was having. Facing some hard issues at the time, I did not pretend all was fine. I replied, “OK.” He asked, “Just OK? Not great? You should be doing great.” He said… Read More
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