Twelve years ago, our son died. The next day he was born, still. I know. It is backwards. There is nothing right about a child dying. Words often fail to capture our emotions. Either we cannot speak or there are no words. As a loving tribute to Zachariah, I share this poem. Twelve Years Unspoken Entering my… Read More
My Daughter’s Grief and a Box of Sticks
A beautiful pine tree, slowly dying, stood in our front yard. Realizing we would lose the tree brought sadness. My daughters enjoyed sitting on its low branches, especially when watching for their grandparents to arrive. It was their waiting place. My eight-year-old daughter knew that the tree was going to be cut down. Still, when the day came, it… Read More
What I Learn from Fear and Death
After hearing about the massacre of children and adults in a Connecticut elementary school, my heart ached for the families involved. The scope of their agony went beyond my imagination. In response to the killings, many parents commented about wanting to hug their children extra tight that night. While I could clearly understand why people felt that way, I realized… Read More
Is my Grandma’s grieving normal?
A student from class, Mary, came into my office and sat in an orange over-stuffed chair. We talked about a paper assignment. Then, hesitantly, she asked a question that probably brought her there in the first place. She tells about her grandparents. They had been married over 50 years, and just recently her grandfather died. Her grandmother is grieving deeply. … Read More
Three ways to declutter your emotions.
All too frequently I am shoving something in a cupboard only to have trouble closing the door. I buy groceries and not everything fits on the shelves. I try to put shampoo bottles in the bathroom cabinet and other things fall over. “This is ridiculous,” I say to myself. It is ridiculous because I know there should be plenty of… Read More
The Write Way to Heal
I write a lot. Some of it ends up here, but most of it doesn’t. Some of it ends up in books, but most of it stays with me. No matter, the writing is usually therapeutic. For healing, it is the process of writing that is most important. Many people have turned to journaling or writing poetry, prose or other… Read More
TEDx Talk – Beyond Closure
When we enter a space of grief, what do we need to do to return to a space of joy? Do we need closure? These are two of the questions I explore in a talk for TEDxDesMoines. I invite you to watch and share your own thoughts on how we can carry joy and grief together. Beyond Closure – The… Read More
What NBC Did Not Want You To See from the Olympics
Why did NBC choose to cut the segment of the Olympics Opening Ceremony that focused on grief and death? A beautiful interpretation of grief and loss, choreographed by Akram Khan to Emeli Sandé’s rendition of “Abide with Me,” created space to remember loved ones who had died. Many interpreted the segment as a tribute to victims of the July 7,… Read More
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