During an especially difficult time in my life, I walked into a church. “How are you doing?” someone asked me, a little too enthusiastic for the day I was having. Facing some hard issues at the time, I did not pretend all was fine.
I replied, “OK.” He asked, “Just OK? Not great? You should be doing great.” He said something about as Christians we should be happy. I don’t remember his exact words. I was busy trying not to yell at him. I walked away, wondering if he was right. Was there something wrong with how I was reacting to my situation?
It is true that I did not feel happy that day. But I still had joy and thanksgiving in my heart. Experiencing joy and giving thanks does not require a cheerleading routine.
The holidays can be particularly difficult for people following a death or other trauma. Grieving loved ones who died. Missing family gatherings because of a crisis. Fighting with friends and family about politics. Grieving for tragedy and death around the world.
All these reasons, and more, can weigh us down. These are also the reasons practicing gratitude is more important than ever. But it doesn’t help when people pressure gratitude at the expense of sharing other emotions and concerns. We need to allow an attitude of gratitude that includes tears.
At times I hear people claiming the Bible says, “Be thankful for all things.” But that’s not right. First Thessalonians 5:18 says to be thankful IN all circumstances. We are not told to be thankful FOR everything in our lives. We are not expected to give thanks for loss and brokenness. However, the capacity lies within us to be thankful IN those dark times. That little preposition makes a big difference.
Giving thanks points us to the light in dark times.
Suffering reaches all corners of our world. So how and why should we give thanks in broken times?
Whining children are frequently told, “Be thankful for what you have.” But do they see others practicing this attitude? As adults, we need to model for children how to be thankful IN all circumstances even when bad things are happening. Giving thanks does not need to be limited to a holiday. Create a habit of thanksgiving in your daily life.
Keep a gratitude journal.
Send a thank you note to someone.
Pray thanks to God for your blessings.
Tell your family stories of gratitude from past events.
Give to charity when you are blessed with enough.
Share moments of thanksgiving at dinner or in the car.
Say thank you to people.
These actions are moments of thanksgiving that you can do even if everything is not right in the world. You might be in a place of enthusiastic happiness, and I hope everyone gets to experience those times in life. However, giving thanks is not limited to those who are “doing great.”
But don’t get me wrong here. Telling people to be thankful should not be wielded as a weapon. There are times when we face trials and it is hard to be cheery. Sometimes telling others to “look on the bright side” and “be thankful for what you have” is a strategy for avoiding people’s pain and struggles. We need to exercise compassionate listening and helping along with encouragement to be thankful IN all circumstances. And if you are patient with people’s sorrows, you will be one more reason for which they can give thanks.
In my work and personal life, I listen to stories of tragedy and loss. Witnessing grief is difficult, but I find that joy and beauty are never far away. Even during our darkest days, there is beauty. Even in times of despair, there are reasons to be thankful.
Giving thanks does not take away all our pain and struggles, but it points us to the light in a time of darkness. Identifying reasons to be thankful gives glimmers of hope and strength to keep going.
We face hard times in our lives, and none of us will escape grief. But it is not a journey without joy. And you do not have to find “closure” or end grief before you can experience that joy. You do not have to have everything going right in your life in order to be thankful IN any situation.
During this Thanksgiving of uncertainty and loss, may you find peace in giving thanks.
My son has had an amazing teacher for the last three years. Mary Letson has always helped my son and our family with anything we have ever needed. She has taken an exceptional interest in my child’s development. I don’t think I could ever repay her for the love, time and commitment that she has given. As a parent, I could not ever ask for a more exceptional teacher. She recognizes what these children have to offer and she challenges them and she actually teaches them. My son has learned a lifetime of lessons from her. On a more personal level, she has taken it upon herself to know about my family and how my job takes me away from home often. She keeps in touch with me while I am gone and helps my son out where he needs it such as bringing him specific shirts to wear because mom was not home to be able to get him certain things he might need for certain performances, etc. She also has helped to map out his direction in the coming years to further his education. These are not necessarily things you would expect from a teacher, but these are just a few things that she does on an everyday basis. I could go on and on about her and all that she does but in a few short words, Mary Letson is an amazing teacher and woman and should receive the highest of accolades for all that she does for our children. I will never be able to thank her enough! – Tamara Bailey-Gatling My son is in Mrs. Martinolich’s seventh-grade math class at Corporate Landing Middle School. I wanted to recognize Mrs. Martinolich and Mrs. Pendleton for all amazing things they do for my son. My son works really hard every day and struggles to keep up sometimes. Math has always been a hard subject for him and he needs a lot of help to understand math. Both of these teachers have gone out of their way to stay after school with him and help him one-on-one as well as take the time to teach me what they are doing so I can help him at home. I don’t know a lot of teachers who take the time to not only teach great students all day but then take the time to teach a parent as well. My son is really hard on himself when he gets a bad grade in something especially if he’s studied really hard. Both of the teachers make sure he’s OK and cheer him up and every time. They love all their students and you can see they truly want the best for them. I have never had two teachers work so hard to help my son since he’s been in school. I truly believe they deserve to be recognized and honored for how amazing they are. Any student would be lucky to have them as teachers. – Nancy Bryant