How to love people when you hate their political choices.

Yuck! 

When will this election be over??

Enough already!

Sentiments like these are heard over and over.  People are blocking others on Facebook, tweeting bombastic replies, and googling Canadian real estate sites.

Like many people, I have friends and family who see the solutions to social problems differently than I do.  Therefore, they sometimes support different politicians and polices compared to me.  And because I am not aligned to any one party, those differences vary by social issue and by person.  It can be a trial to talk through political and religious issues.

This presidential election, however, seems to be even harder.  The strain of political choices weighs heavier. The campaigns are uglier and that threatens to stain our relationships with different-minded people.

We cannot afford to isolate ourselves among those who agree with us.  We have to find a way to not just co-exist, but to love each other through this election.   We need to give each other space to disagree and grace to hear the concerns in people’s hearts.

How do we survive this election?   Here are seven places to start:

Take media breaks. Take plenty of breaks from social media and news in general.  Find time to interact with people through shared volunteer projects or social activities.   Find the good in humanity in helping others or even in brief conversations because you will be drained of the joy when reading about politics.

Keep grace and respect your foundation when sharing differences. Let grace lead you when discussing politics. Be respectful when sharing your beliefs and concerns.  We need to keep talking with each other about the differences.  But we need to do so without wrapping up our entire identity and relationships in the political choice. We do what we can to help guide each other, but in the short-term we may still make different political decisions.

Do not center your identity and values in a political party. When you view a political party as a key defining feature of who you are, other people questioning those policies or politicians can threaten your identity and integrity.  And when a political party is the cornerstone of your values, you allow your heart to be defined by the voices of the political party.   Reflect on who you are in terms that are not defined by a political party.  Do the same for others.

Choose relationships over politicians. If you have a political difference with someone close to you, remember that your relationship is more important than your choice in politicians.  In hindsight, you might both see things differently anyway.  If you believe that the person’s heart is in the right place, even if their thinking seems wrong to you, be patient.   Over time, you may find more middle ground.

Go beyond the voter’s box. No matter whose box you check, you need to do more than vote.  Find ways to connect with people who may be different from you.  Work together on a project.  Invite them over for dinner to learn more about their lives.  Volunteer for organizations that make a difference on social issues that matter to you.  We cannot just talk about making changes.  We have to act.

Pray for patience to work together for a long, long time.  No matter what happens in this election, the gulf that divides so many people today will not go away.  On November 9, we will still be living together in the same communities.  We have a long way to go in healing relationships and helping those who are hurting.  There can be new opportunities as we help each other dig out of the mess we are in.  But we need to work side-by-side with those that disagree with us right now.  We cannot afford to put up any more walls between us even as we continue to have loved ones who will vote differently.

Listen in order to understand and build empathy.  Make it a personal goal to become a better listener.  Listen to those who disagree with you. Try to understand why they feel the way they do.  This will help build empathy and connections across differences.  Your goal is not necessarily to change your beliefs or theirs, but to practice relationship-building and empathy.  Only then can we find common ground from which to build our shared future.

I know there are many issues that I’ve not raised here that matter to you.   My goal for this post is to encourage us to think about how to be patient with each other as we not only endure the election season, but shape a future for us and our children.

We will all be around people who feel and think differently about politics.

Speak up respectfully for your beliefs.

Allow room to grieve differences.

Make space for grace as you listen to the hearts of others.

And remember that relationships matter more than the politicians of the day.