I read it on social media.
I hear it from friends and family.
People are frustrated and angry.
But WHOM they are frustrated with varies. It is interesting to hear differences in opinion over who is to blame for the violence and unrest dominating the headlines.
There is one thing we have in common: We are afraid. What have we become? And what can we do?
For those who are angry with the people who differ from you, please do not give up on trying to understand what they are going through in their lives. Take a deep breath, slow down, and think about how to listen to others’ pain.
We must come together to share pain and show love. We need to learn how to help our world heal. It will take generations, but the healing must begin with us. This is our children’s and grandchildren’s world. How can we imagine it different? How do we get there?
We all have different roles and opportunities to make a difference. But often we are overwhelmed by not knowing where to start in trying to help.
Here are five questions to start a family or community discussion about learning how to help with the healing.
Do you confuse listening with agreeing?
Listening is not the same as agreeing with someone. Listen to allow others to share their perspective. We need to listen with the goal of understanding. We can learn more about others without agreeing with everything they say. When we fall into the trap of believing that listening to someone is the same as agreeing with that person, then we do not make it very far in any conversation.
Can you separate compassion from politics?
Learn to care for people with whom you may not agree. Separating compassion from politics allows people room to care for each other while still debating various issues. Fear of change and difference often blocks are ability to reach out and care for others. Take a chance and show others compassion. That does not mean you have to share the same political beliefs. But in the process, you may learn that you have more in common with those people than you first realized.
Are you imagining a sprint or marathon in how you help?
Prepare for the long road ahead. Solutions will not come in short tweets or simple formulas. The problems did not develop overnight and neither will the solutions. Do not place hope in immediate change. We must work together for the generations that will follow.
Do you know you can carry grief and joy together?
Because we will face ongoing terror, violence, hate and risk, we need to learn to carry joy and grief together. We can listen to others’ pain and still find joy in our lives. We can have faith while not understanding the why. We can show compassion to one person while feeling hurt by another. If we do not take time to give thanks for what we have and enjoy the blessings in our life, we will not have the energy to give to others who need our compassion.
Do you believe kindness makes a difference?
Acts of kindness make a difference. You may not see the results of your kind acts. We need to give to others without expecting immediate results nor, frankly, a thank you. There will be thank yous and there will be times of stunning results that take your breath away. And those are truly soul-touching moments. But if we rely on those grand expectations to fuel our efforts to help others, we will too quickly lose faith.
When you are ready to listen to others, find a way to have conversations with people who differ from you in how they see the world. Have faith that listening to each other and planting seeds of hope and kindness and compassion will make a difference even if we do not see the full harvest in our lifetime.
Leave a Reply